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Should we be considered racist over this?

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We are a Caucasian family of Scottish and German descent, we have 3 kids who are now 19, 28 and 31. Our 19 years old daughter is dating a white guy from her college, our 31 years old son is married to a white girl and they have 2 beautiful children, and our 28 years old son has been dating a black girl for almost 2 years.

We have never been very content with this relationship, but at the same time we always thought that at some point they were going to break up. Well, that has not been the case, 3 days ago I got the news from my son that they got engaged and have now started to plan their weeding for the next Summer.

We expressed our disagreement and explained to our son why.. It is not because we are racist or hate black people, in fact I worked for most than 7 years helping black folks that got out of prison reintegrate into society and also helping black single mothers. I'm far from racist, I respect every race, and culture. We just want to keep our family the way it is. We have black, Hispanics and even Muslim friends, but that does not mean that I want my kids to marry them. It is a family tradition that has been going for hundreds of years which we just marry and procreate with people of our own race. So, after we talked to our son he told his fiancee about it, and yesterday she came over and told us that we are racist, bigots, hateful people and every name in the book. Why are Arabs, Jews, Black and every other race allowed to do the same, but not white people?
asked Sep 20, 2016 in Society and Culture by smyadmin

1 Answer

0 votes
Everyone is "allowed" to do what they want. But anyone who is against mixing is racist, regardless of their reasons. Just because you help black people on the job and will socialize with black people doesn't mean you're not racist. People who aren't racist don't draw racial lines that make black people acceptable only to a certain extent.

I say this as someone who has white friends, one of whom I consider my sister, and still know that I'm perfectly racist. I don't want to date white women, and I have never been attracted to my friend/sister, even though most men of all races think she's gorgeous and she has modeled and acted. I have reasons that are nothing like yours, as a person of color. I don't want a partner who doesn't understand what I go through in the world as a black person. I don't want to have arguments or discussions about race and realize that this person has viewpoints I don't like because she is too white to know where I'm coming from, i.e. has had totally different life experiences racially. And I don't want to go out in the world with a white woman and be looked at by other black people as yet another black person who puts white women on a pedestal and who can't stand women of my own race.

To me, these reasons are perfectly valid and understandable. That doesn't change the fact that my behavior towards white women in this regard is discriminatory. There is always the perception with drawing these lines--"Oh, we can be best friends, but you can't come into my family"--that you are saying someone is inferior or unacceptable based on race. That perception exists because that's EXACTLY what you're saying.
answered Sep 20, 2016 by moscl
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