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How do I explain to my parents that I'm an adult and can make my own decisions?

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I'm 18 and paying to stay with my parents but they still want to control my life. I pay for my car, for my part of the rent, and I'm a part time student but they still try to take my keys away from me and give me a 10:00 pm curfew. They even scold me when I go to the mall with my
friends without "permission" and threatened to take my car away from me.

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asked Aug 1, 2017 in Family and Relationships by Patricia

2 Answers

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Here are some general suggestions I make to younger teens in case you might get some helpful ideas from them. Ask to have a serious discussion with your parents about how they see things panning out in the coming months and years. It needs to be fairly rational, so if one of you becomes too emotional (e.g. angry) it would be best to time out and try again another time. Prepare in advance what you would like to say and ask: write a plan, even.

As you reach each birthday, for example, or each new school year, what rights, freedoms and responsibilities will you have? Chores, pocket money, curfews, dating, etc. will all come into it, obviously. You can't really expect something for nothing, so think about what you can put into the family and household as part of your negotiations as to what you can get.

If you are to grow into a responsible adult, it must be a gradual process: if they keep you wrapped up in cotton wool and then suddenly let you out of the box at eighteen, you won't have enough experience to know how to handle it.

That said, your parent(s) is/are responsible for your safety and welfare during this time: no doubt they love you and they themselves have the experiences you don't yet. Seeing things on t.v. and hearing your friends' (exaggerated?) stories aren't quite the same.

If they don't want to do this, ask them if they will please consider a plan and talk again in a week or so. All plans need to be a little flexible, as unexpected things can happen, of course.

Hopefully this will show that you have a maturing attitude to your family and your life.

Good Luck!
answered Aug 1, 2017 by Coach Simon
0 votes
Your parents sound rather dreadful, on the surface. They will continue to dominate you until you leave their house. After then, you need never acquiesce to them again.
answered Aug 1, 2017 by Jay R
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