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how to tell your parents you failed university?

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I failed university, how do i tell my parents?
I goto a hard university where most students either drop out or fail because of its difficulty. At the beginning it was easy, each course gives a weekly assignment. My average in assignments were around 95. The reason they were so easy was because each topic was a weekly thing. So if you learned something in chemistry, it would be on the assignment. Then as mid terms approached I assumed that I would do amazing. I studied hard, but once again I studied the weekly assignments. I told my parents not to worry, because I believed with all my heart that I would do amazing. As I went into midterms, I came to the realization that I was going to do bad. Horrible infact. My average dropped. After midterms, I told them I did ok. But I didn't. I studied so hard. And as finals came around I studied day and night. I studied off previous exams and aced them on the first try. I felt prepared, but continued to study. I went into Finals, and did horrible. It felt harder then older exams which was stupid. I felt that I did ok, but because of my midterms the mark was still disastrous. I still haven't told my parents how I did. I've been telling them that I did amazing. But I didn't.
Getting back to my past, as I was growing up my parents had very little money. And we just barely made the payment for university. I was beaten by my parents throughout my life. My parents are amazing people, but very stubborn. And I don't know how to tell them how I tried hard. I tried asking them if I could move to another University, but they forced me to stay. When I told them they cried for 2 weeks. They guilted me into going into a program that I knew I would hate.
I'm afraid for my future. I'm afraid for my families future. I'm afraid of what everyone will think. I;m afraid of what I will do. I can't stand to break their hearts, I've already fell into depression, but I keep it to myself. I act like I normally do, but in my head everything has fallen. I don't know what to do. Please help.

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asked Mar 17 in Education and Reference by RobandKai

2 Answers

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Sounds to me like you are trying to live the life your parents would have you live instead of the one you wish to live. How long can this go on? Eventually something has to give.

Coming from an abusive family is not easy. (me too) But the only way we can crawl out from under is to stand up for ourself and have pride regardless of circumstances (and dignity)

No one has the right to make you feel less than wonderful about life and your life in particular. Your parents would like you to live out their dream for you. That's fine if you are both dreaming the same dream.

Your parents are too controlling and you will crumble under the weight of their attitude if you don't find your legs and stand tall. Don't let them put you down.

I would write down how you feel and what you did to perfectly tell your side of the story and then hand it to them. That way they can read it later too, but you will have had a chance to think before you speak in order to express yourself.

My parents forced me to take a direction in education which I felt unsuited for and hated. I failed of course. When I grew up I succeeded regardless of the fact that I wasn't educated in my choice of career. (art)

We are not living to make others happy we are living to discover this life for ourselves and make choices and live by those consequences. If other people have an agenda for us, it's not our fault. We aren't "letting them down" they are doing it all by themselves.

Your parents may want certain things for you, but they are going about it the wrong way.

Don't carry guilt, honey. It's a heavy load. You did your best. If you can get help to do better, then go for it if that is your desire. But don't get guilted into anything. That is a loser's road.
answered Mar 17 by fun.notnuts
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The only thing you can do is to tell the truth as they will find out eventually. Part of being an adult is to accept responsibility for all of your actions. Try to explain to them the reasons that you failed and tell them to try to understand. All you can do is try to do better in the future and maybe tell them that you need to go to another university where it will not be so hard. So, take a deep breath and prepare yourself because there is no easy way to let them down, but you have to tell them. Just realize that nobody is perfect and that you are not a bad person.
Source(s):
College student
answered Mar 17 by corvus37

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