PS: best answer gets $10 as reward, help me quickly.
I already dropped out of university twice six years ago. I was too depressed, realised that I went for the wrong reasons (to party) and the stress of it all just got too much up til the point where i tried to **** myself.
I'm now back at university in a foreign country studying a course that i only partly like in a foreign language. It was going o-k but then my dad had a stroke and has been in hospital for the past month and a half. From the moment i received the phone call telling me this I just haven't been able to concentrate at uni and everything has spiralled down into a pit of severe depression. I've got exams in january which I've stopped working for because I cannot even pick up a pen anymore without bursting into tears and wanting to **** myself again. I've kinda said to myself that it's more in the interest of self-preservation that I just go along with the ride attending classes but not letting it get to me and not doing any work which might trigger stress-depression again - allthewhile watching the just-twenty year olds in my class surpass me in every way.
I just happen to be in a relationship with a highly-qualified high-flyer high-earner whose friends all seem to all have high end degrees and qualifications as well. Of course I compare myself to them all and just end up feeling so inferior, insignificant and worthless. Last week I ended up having to go to my girlfriend's 'ex boyfriend's (but not really)' PHD graduation dinner celebration. I just sat there the whole time feeling like an absolute total piece of dumb**** . Wish I'd never gone.
Anyway, so if (when) I drop out again my mum will **** me, my girlfriend will probably think I'm a quitter loser, and I'll then have to explain to everyone I know why I've stopped studying again. I don't know what I'm going to say to people to save face. It's like I need to think up some valid reason that my friends will buy as to why I've been forced against my will to go back to work instead of getting this degree thing again without lying. I kind of think to myself that there's no real way of telling people without having to explain to them that I'm quite simply too stressed and depressed to succeed at it and would rather just stop even though I know that that makes me a serial quitter/drop out.
I regret more than anything trying to go back, I should have just stuck with learning more languages which is one of the things I'm best at.
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