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i want to move out of my parents house but i can't afford it

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How can I afford to move out of my parents place?
I'm a 20 year old male and I live at home with my parents. They pay all my bills. I've been without a job for 6 months now and I'm definitely starting to feel like a burden to my parents. I have a high school diploma. I have a good work ethic when I do have a job and am a fairly quick learner. I also get along with coworkers exceptionally. My current job experience includes mostly working in the back end of a restaurant (dishwasher, prep and line cook) which I would say I am proficient at. I also have experience working as a hodcarrier (being a helper for a stucco contractor but I've never had a trowel in my own hand so I have no experience in the technique of plastering) and I've also had experience putting up gutter, garage doors, window and door installments, vinyl siding and also with the maintainence of trailers (mostly just washing them or changing tires on them) and I do also have experience painting. I live in a small town in Nebraska where steady work is somewhat hard to come by if you don't already have a job and if you do have a job, there are not always guaranteed hours. I want to become financially independent. I want to be able to rent my own apartment (hopefully soon enough be able to build equity on a property and not just rent), afford my own car and insurance (but I could live with riding a bike), and have enough money to afford a cell phone and possibly cable or satellite tv along with internet and of course enough money to feed myself which probably wouldn't be much. I have no prospects as far as a room mate goes. Basically I just want out of my parents house and be able to live on my own. Any kind of advice as far as the process of this would go would be helpful. Also, I should mention I'm on probation for another ten months (I'm not a felon, although the charge is an assault charge on a police officer (spitting on him... :\ )), and I'm about ten grand in debt already. So I do have some initial problems anyway. It's a headache to think about and it kills my motivation to have to work and not be able to spend much of my own money for a while. I want a respectable job (not a McDonalds gig or anything that has to do with dealing with customers) that's not back breaking. But I'm scared of being depressed and having no life. I am just scared to grow up. I'm afraid of being lonely my whole life. It's sad to say my parents are my only "friends". I am just scared and sad about this.

I'm just a young man in need of some help. Some guidance. Some direction. Any advice would be very helpful. Thanks.

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asked Feb 28, 2017 in Business and Finance by Celina

2 Answers

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The bad news is you have problems. The good news is you are very young, all your problems can be solved, and life is long. I know, they always say life is short. It is also long.

I bought my first car with savings from a job that I rode my bicycle to. Before that I used to say, I need a car to get a job and I need  job to buy a car. I'm in a catch 22. Later in life I would find myself carless again, and that time I just went and kind of lived near work in more of a transient capacity until I had saved up enough for a car again.

Your legal problem will play out as long as you fulfill the requirements of your probation. Make sure you do that. If you don't play ball that could go on indefinitely, and the hard crowd is not the kinds of friends you are looking for.

I would suggest taking a look at any authority issues you may have, and take a new look at spitting as a poor way of communicating what you need.

Debt has no statute of limitations and will not go away. You will have that bull dog hanging off of your ass until you kill that debt.

I'd put friends and independence on the back burner for a while and start removing your obstacles and acquiring your life gear first. It is a good time to appreciate your parents support and be a good friend to them.

The major warning I would give is to avoid the way of thinking that one big gig will fix all your problems. A steady and consistent income is what works.
answered Feb 28, 2017 by Larry Crawford
0 votes
Your situation is not as bad as you think it is. Of course it could have been better, but trust me - it could have been so much worse! Your dissatisfaction and desperation comes from the comparison of your life to some random benchmark - something that you THINK you should be doing now that you don't, or something that you THINK you should have by now that you don't have. Concentrating on the negatives of your current situation would only make the feeling of desperation worse and will result in inaction - and this would be making your situation even worse.

Here's my practical advice (take it as a VERY high-level opinion, since I really don't know who you).
1. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. It's never helpful. Ever. It just leads to a feeling of being a victim of the circumstances and supports your inaction. Take your current situation and call it "My Starting Point". Now start making improvements, no matter how small they may seem (go shave clean and make a good haircut - this is already an improvement).

2. Start small. Don't think of all the things you want to have eventually. You will have them, but the key is to take ACTION now. Today. Start taking steps that would help you improve your situation.

You want a "real" job? Well, too bad - there just isn't one. Don't blame the job market, Nebraska or whatever. You are just not skilled enough, or not persistent enough to find one. So, take a smaller step forward - take a job that you can take. McDonalds does not sound like a real job? Well, it's a job and better than nothing. During that past 6 months that you stayed out of job, you could have SAVED a net amount of around $6K + have an insurance. You could have used the $6K to pay off part of your debt. Stay for a few more months - and you are debt free! The "future debt-free you" would be very thankful to you for that!

This is a great improvement to your "Starting Point". Yes, it's a small step - but it is a step in the right direction. If you don't take this step RIGHT NOW, then 6 months later you will be exactly where you are right now - just much more desperate.

3. Continue small. While at McD's - keep looking for a job. Every. Single. Day. And don't give up. Small persistent efforts add up to big results later.

Now that you are debt free you can build a bit of a safety cash cushion and then move out of your parents' house. Don't rent an apartment - rent a room. I lived in New York City - Upper West Side in Manhattan - and my rent was... $350/month. Yes, it was a room the size of a queen-size bed, but it was my room. And while there I could save more money to pay for my education. I don't know Nebraska RE market, but I'd guess that it's cheaper than NYC.

So, in summary: stop feeling sorry for yourself. Accept the situation you are in and move on. Think about any improvements to your current situation - no matter how small they may be - and do it. Right now. You just woke up in the morning? Great! What can you do TODAY so that by the evening you are in a better situation?
answered Feb 28, 2017 by Gene Khalyapin

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